why do bad things happen to good people? why would someone, I love so much, have to go through something like this? why would someone's strength and faith be tested when it was already rock solid to begin with? why would holly and dave have to lose their 3 little babies? why would someone have to go through labor, deliver 3 babies and not be able to take them home?
all the explanations are crap. this isn't going to make holly a better mom than she already would have been. this wouldn't make her love her kids anymore than she was already going to. she is already patient. she is already strong. she is already loyal. this makes no sense.
one thing I do know, is that watching your little sister--best friend--and one you look up to, go through something like this is heart wrenching. watching her heart get shattered 3 times is unbearable. then, being able to do nothing about it is agony. it doesn't help that her body is physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. it doesn't help that everyone she knows just had or is having a baby. and it doesn't help that every blog that exists is smothered with babies, happy pregnant women, and then more babies. it's just like salt in the wound.
I debated with the idea of even posting this. The whole experience has been so personal and intimate in our family... I mean, is this something you really blog about? No. But I know so many of you love Holly and Dave and would want to have your thoughts with them during this time of sorrow. It has also been such a huge part of my life, could I really just go back to blogging about the dumb beach and other trivial things when what was most important was not even mentioned?
I just love her so much. I just don't want her to be sad anymore. I just wish I could take it all away. we all know that she will have a family, and we all know she will have other children, but that doesn't help right now. she has felt (and will continue to feel) the intense love a mother has for her children and their spirits will remain with her always. they are so lucky to have her as a mother and will one day get to meet her again. but until then, she (and I) will remember them everyday.
26 comments:
Oh Lori, this is so sad. I cried when I read that.
I agree with you that explanations and excuses like, "it was meant to be" or other things are crap. Life can just be awful and there is no reason for this. I get so mad as when people try to say everything is fate, like it will make it feel better.
And I think it's great to post about this. Life is not all sunshine.
Poor Holly and you. I can't even imagine watching a sister go through this.
Oh Lors, I'm so so so so sorry. I am so sorry for Holly and Dave - I can't imagine the pain and hurt they must be feeling. I don't have any good advice because I think you're absolutely right - all those clever things people say just don't help. Only time and lots of tears will heal that wound. I will say though - Holly is such a strong amazing person, and if anyone can get through this I know she can. She is lucky to have such a great family to help her through this horribly hard time. We will be praying for her. xoxoxo xoxoxoxo. love you.
My heart goes out to Holly. She will be the kind of mom who knows what a special and lucky opportunity motherhood is.
A hug and a kiss to all of you. xo.
Wow, Lori, that is so heartbreaking! I'm so sorry for them, and my heart goes out to your family!
I don't know if it will help, it may be too soon - but I have a friend who has blogged quite a bit about the son she lost a few years ago. It's www.itswhatmakesmeme.blogspot.com. A lot of what she has written over time is sad, so I don't know if it would be too hard to read right now, but it may also be helpful at some point because of my friend's incredible perspective on eternity and how she weaves the gospel into her painful experiences. When searching the posts, she typically writes about it at the end of June, because that is her son's birthday.
Lors...I wish I could hug you and Holly right now. Holly is amazing. And anyone who knows her, knows this.I'm so so so sorry. I have seen one of my sisters go through fertility problems and it is not easy. Like you said, it is exhausting!!! And on top of all of that to experience such loss isn't fair. I think about this often...Why? Why do some people have such hard trials? I don't understand...Holly is a fighter and She is so lucky to have you.
i don't even know what to say. it isn't fair. it's heartbreaking and i am so sorry for holly and dave that words can't describe it. is there something i can do? i'll continue praying for them and i am truly so sorry. i love you all.
Lori, I am just so sorry. Bonds between sisters are so strong...I know you can feel her pain and wish you could take it away. I just cannot imagine how this must feel for her and your family. I know that nothing anyone says will make it better, but I hope there is comfort in knowing that she will be reunited with them again one day. I’m sure your support and love are helping her more than you know.
i love you lori. thank you for expressing the thoughts of both of our hearts. i don't know what i'd do without your love, support, and compassion.
lors,
i'm so sorry. holly really is one of the greatest people i know. my heart goes out to your whole family.
xoxo, steph
lors,
i'm so sorry. holly really is one of the greatest people i know. my heart goes out to your whole family.
xoxo, steph
Holly and Lori you are all in my prayers. I was so sad to hear the news. No words can really console you so I don't want to even try. Just know you are loved by someone who has had loss in their life.
hi lori. i read this post this morning and haven't stopped thinking about sweet holly all day long. i feel so sad for her and this awful event of losing her babies. please give her our love. i have a prayer for her to be strong. i know your hearts must be breaking. xo.
now I'm crying. wow...I know too well the feelings of loss you all have, but x3, that is so hard. I will pray for your family and your sweet sister. I think you are brave and I am happy to that you chose to blog about this. It is real and your life and it will help you all cope. Such a loving sister you are, Lori.
lori...
I am so sorry for Holly's loss. Please share my condolences with her. I will keep her in my prayers. You are an amazing sister!!
Oh My. I cant imagine. Tell Holly I'm so sorry and i'm thinking about her. I am sure it is so hard for you to be away from her right now. It makes you wonder why things happen the way they do. Hang in there.
I pray everyday that I don't have to experience that. I saw how hard it was for my mother to miscarry 3 times, and it was always very hard on her. I can't imagine what she must be feeling, but it is a good thing she has such a great sister like you. I don't really know her, but if she is as strong and great as you say, then I bet God had a reason he needed her to be the one to do this. No matter what though, it is hard, and my heart goes out to she, her husband, and your family.
OH Lori, I found your blog via Janelle's and check it out every so often. I am so very sorry. I truly cannot even imagine. There are no words that do a time like this justice. Just know that there are a lot of people thinking of your family and praying for comfort for all of you. Adrian (Thomas) Gatherum
Lori, I feel like I know Holly (because you talk about her so much) and I just feel sick about what happened. You are a great sister and friend to her, I know how hard it hits a person when their family is in pain. Sometimes it hits the ones that love them 10 fold. life at times can seem so unfair-- hang in there.
Hey Lori,
I went over the other day and we just sat and cried and then cried some more. It's too sad. I'm glad she has you as a sister and your great parents to help her through this. She is so wonderful that it just doesn't seem fair that she has to go through something so horrible. My heart just breaks for her.
im just sitting here with tears rolling down my face. o holly, im so sorry that you are going through this. there really are no words that can make you feel better, other than sorry. i have been there and its the hardest thing i have personally ever gone through. those 3 babies are so lucky to have you and dave and they will bless you and be with you always. and lori, how hard it must be to watch all this. you are such an amazing sister and holly is so lucky to have you. may you all find comfort and peace and know that time will make it all a little better. my thoughts and prayers are with your family.
I am so so sorry for your sisters loss lori. I don't know her very well, but your words really touched me. nothing can explain the sorrow that comes from something like this. thanks for sharing it. I wish her all the best, and my heart goes out to her.
My heart hurts and I am just so truly sorry for Holly, Dave and you and your family. Thank you for sharing such pain so that we can pray for your family and perhaps learn from your strength. Thank you for letting me hear your words so I can be reminded of a sisters true and supportive love.All of my love to you and your sweet sister. May you received all the tender mercies you all so deserve!
I have been thinking about Holly all week. I am so sorry this happened and my heart goes out to her and your family.
Lors, this was a beautiful post, and I'm so glad Holly has such a wonderful sister.
I agree, why do bad things have to happen to good people? How sad for her and your family! I'm so sorry for the loss. I pray that you and your family will find comfort at this time. I'm glad that she has an awesome sister and family that loves her so much.
Lori,
That is so sweet of you HOlly is blessed to have three Angles over her. As well as her Sister here with her. She is in our thoughts and Prayers.
I probably wont write on her page being the whole thing you said about pregnent women. Sorry But i just want you to know im thinking of her.
Ashley Olsen Wright
Lori,
this was a very personal post and i imagine, hard to express your feelings. you are such a good sister to Holly during this trial. i've been thinking of the sorensen's,,,,
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